Loneliness is a very painful thing. It's something you dont want to tell all your friends and family to really pray for because its a minor pain to most. It's not life threatening or devastating like cancer, losing your job, or your house burning down. But it is painful and it is real.
Some of my friends and family have tried to give comfort by saying things like.... It will pass, it won't last forever, when you least expect it you'll meet someone, join a gym! I even had a pastor tell me to just be patient, that I'd eventually reap what I've sown. I believe all to be true, but none have become true to me personally.
Many friends that are mothers seem to say to me, 'if I had free time like you, even one day to myself!'...but as soon as they have it, they soon yearn to see how their kids or husbands are doing without them, and they have the previlage to go back. I don't have that option.
I try and keep myself as busy as I can by doing things for others, my church, my loved ones, but I still seem to find myself alone wherever I go. And being home alone is the hardest.
I'm not depressed, but still sad over it. I'm not happy about it but I still have joy in my life. My heart remains heavy without companionship. I've been lonely throughout most of my adult life, but now it seems to be the hardest I've ever experienced.
I'm only surviving it by the sustaining love of my Heavenly Father. His Spirit within me keeps me sane. But oh my heavy heart....the pain will pass, but loneliness still remains.
